And according to Psychology Today, if “toxic femininity” does exist, then these “tactics” or “behaviors” were used to survive oppressive misogyny. “My sister bled her nipples dry trying to produce milk. She had all this internalized guilt that if she couldn’t breastfeed, then she wouldn’t be a proper mother and it would be her fault that the baby was malnourished.” —u/joyfall “A friend of mine had her daughter 10 weeks early. It was very traumatic, but they are both fine now. Last week, there was something along the lines of ‘pre-mature birth awareness day’ at the hospital where she had her daughter, and she was invited to meet up with other pre-mature birth moms to bond, network, and share their experiences. At the meeting, she was shamed by the group because her daughter was ‘ONLY’ 10 weeks early. Her experience was ignored because ’that could’ve not been that hard, my son was born 12 weeks early!,’ ‘mine was 15!!!’ The most traumatic experience of her life was ridiculed because her daughter was not pre-mature enough. Cliques exist EVERYWHERE, and it sucks.” —u/filipbergendahl “This. This has been a reoccurring theme throughout my life. I even had to go to therapy because it was happening so much that I started to think that I was the problem. I had a friend who was in love with this one guy, I got to meet him finally, and we were all hanging out, and everyone went to sleep, and he wanted to show me his Pirates of the Caribbean collection in his room. As soon as I turned around, he pulled down his pants and was there just completely naked from the waist down. I told her, and she blamed me for leading him on???” —u/Accomplished_Hyena_6 “Putting other women down period.” —u/Tauta “It’s funny. I had a C-section with one child and a natural birth with the other. I breastfed one and bottle-fed the other. If I asked someone to point out the ‘natural’ born, breastfed child, they would have to make a guess because there is nothing to differentiate them. Both kids are super tall. Both get sick. Both eat like wild animals. Both drive me up the wall. Birth is birth. Fed is fed.” —u/Medical-Stable-5959 “I had a friend who got married and had babies young. Totally her choice, all good, whatever makes her happy. But she’d phone me in the evening, and I’d be heading out with friends or going to the bar or a party, and she’d say, ‘Oh, must be nice to be able to do whatever you want, any time you want!’ Or, I’d show up wearing new clothes or something, and she’d say, ‘Oh, must be nice to have so much disposable income, buy new clothes whenever you want.’ But then, she’d tell me I needed to find the right person and settle down, didn’t I want kids? So…am I lucky to be single and childless or not?” —u/sadnessreignssupreme “I get this a lot. I’ve been single for a few years after being in relationships for the past 35+ years. Completely my choice to be single. And I have been the HAPPIEST I have ever been in my whole entire life! Yet, I have people constantly asking if I’m lonely, telling me I should get out there and date someone, or the best yet, when I tell them I’m not interested in dating: ‘Who hurt you??’ Like, WHAT?!? LOL. They cannot fathom how I can be happier single. Yet, they’re stuck in their humdrum lives complaining about their wives.” —u/LucysFiesole A lot of women somehow seem to feel that the way they were taught is the best/only way to lead life and that any woman that makes different decisions is automatically worth less than they are. You get pushed into a certain category in people’s heads, and unless you perfectly fit into one, you get looked down upon, and that is not okay." —u/Girlygabenpepe “It is so weird that that is a thing. I’m plus size, and every store with plus-size clothes is so feminine. Super low-cut shirts, too. And I am just not like that. Sometimes, it’s fun…but also, where are the T-shirts, comfy hoodies, etc.?” —u/HAgaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy “I would say this is an ‘all ages’ thing. I never got picked on more for what I wore/my body than in middle school, and again as a young mom. Both of those times were from peers around my age.” —u/mrskontz14
