Perspective #1: “I think this is why people think amateur porn is a lot hotter than the high production value professional stuff. What turns me on most about sex is the intimacy of it all, the feeling of doing it with another human being, and figuring it out together. I just don’t get that sense of intimacy from big-budget pornos, but I do get that from amateur stuff, especially those filmed by couples.” —u/Flat_Weird_5398 Perspective #2: “Too many ‘casual encounters’ that don’t result in an elbow to the face or accidental head-butt.” —u/kitty-distressed Perspective #1: “I had just washed my sheets the night I lost my virginity. Just pushed the pile of clothes and sheets onto the floor and did it on a bare mattress.” —u/PapaLouie_ Perspective #2: “Cleaning off the kitchen counter to bang on it. NO, don’t put that knife in the dirty sink; I haven’t decided if I want to make another sandwich yet!” —u/nocksers Perspective #1: “Depends on the person. My first long-term girlfriend could get off from nipples alone and loved long oral sessions. My wife? She asks me to go so hard I’m worried I’ll break something on one of us. It’s the only thing that works for her. Using my hand feels like I’m trying to pound a nail through an oak board with my fingertips, and she’s still going ‘HARDER.’ So…ya know, it depends.” —u/justridingbikes099 Perspective #2: “It is in my opinion, so long as the top builds up to the rougher pace instead of going straight into ass-destroyer mode.” —u/green__problem Perspective #1: “My god — yes, this. I’ve had to teach my fiancé that since I was his first anal lady, and it just didn’t make sense how much warming up it takes for a little bit. It takes time, and it takes that time every time; buttholes need a little work.” —u/Squemishsquash Perspective #2: “This is why I’m anti-anal with my wife. The amount of hemorrhoids and fissures I’ve seen in porn is deterrent enough.” —u/D1RTY_D —u/ImNotReallyThatSmart Perspective #1: “My dog is very polite and just stares.” —u/CrazyHamsterPerson Perspective #2: “When my husband and I bought our first home, we decided the first thing we should do is ‘christen’ the bedroom. We had also just adopted a beagle. While getting down to business on the air mattress (no real furniture at that point), our beagle started humping my husband’s leg. Totally killed the mood, but we both got a good laugh out of it!” —u/KommandoKracker87 Perspective #1: “Sometimes, it’s that morning side-bang after a hard night drinking and everyone is dehydrated. Or, you’ve been going at it for 40 minutes and used up all the natural. Sometimes, I will put some on my finger before massaging the clitoris, too, because I’ve found it helps a ton. Friction is numbness and/or pain; friction is the enemy.” —u/faste30 Perspective #2: “This is a good call-out on major differences in porn vs. real life. Preference changes with time as anyone whose been in a long-term relationship can testify to. And it’s different for everyone, whether you are using condoms, your age, whether men are circumcised, or the makeup of the labia. My wife and I got together as teens and are in our 30s. At 19, everyone is ready to go in a second; by 25, with a condom, maybe the female needs it. At 30, an uncircumcised male might need it more. And the changes go on and on.” —u/Tym3Less Perspective #1: “I have a big beard, and half of sex is me pulling my own hair out of my mouth.” —u/AlvinAssassin17 Perspective #2: “Tips for anyone in this situation: When trimming, pucker up your lips and make sure that no hair makes it in there, clean it up. Pro-tip for a clean-looking beard on a rush: Just clean up the lips and the gutters (cheek edges), and that gets you 85% of the way for a good clean beard look (assuming you haven’t let it get out of control). Shampoo your beard. Face skin is sensitive, and you will taste some of the shampoo. I’ve found that the best cheap solution is to use baby shampoo. There are beard shampoos; they’re nicer and also have better tastes, but are more expensive. Also, brush your beard daily. I recommend getting a badger bristle brush, but you can use a boar bristle brush; it just gets a bit gnarlier. If you’re going to get busy with your mouth, give it a good brush beforehand. Oil your beard once a day, after shampooing before brushing. There are a lot of great-smelling oils, but you honestly just need a decent oil. I find that EVOO works pretty well, but you can use baby oil, too, if you are willing to spend a bit more, and don’t find it more expensive, you can use argan, jojoba, or even avocado oil. Add some drops of essential smell oils to make it smell nice if you want to. All of this together work pretty well. Also, if you happen to have a lot of body hair (be what the gay community would describe as ‘a fuzzy bear’), brushing your chest hair with a brush before sex helps remove most of the loose hairs that will get stuck everywhere with sweat and make it a bit smoother (but less bouncy, which some women like).” —u/lookmeat Perspective #1: “Nature’s sexual battle cry.” —u/hotmailNurse Perspective #2: “Always have considered this as a possibility, and in some ways feared it. Good to know I won’t be alone if it happens.” —u/Sharp_Armadillo7882 Perspective #1: “My nipples are HELLA sensitive, though. Then, I got them pierced, and now one fondle and I’m ready to go.” —u/notanaltaccount88 Perspective #2: “That can happen, though. It really depends on the woman. My wife is super sensitive and absolutely wants her nipples played with if she’s in the mood. Some exes were the opposite: not wanting their nipples touched for whatever reason. That’s another thing movies get wrong: You can’t use a magic trick that works for every woman. You gotta adapt and discover your partner.” —u/fibojoly Perspective #1: “Or the price tag. Like yeah, the butt is nice, but my boss expects SOMEONE to pay this $1,800 bill, and it ain’t me.” —u/DrNefarious11 Perspective #2: “In porn: ‘Hello, I need a plumber.’ ‘I’m a plumber. I’ll be there in five minutes.’ In reality: ‘Hello, I need a plumber.’ ‘I’m a plumber. I’ll arrive between 6 a.m. and 9:30 p.m. some time between Thursday and October.’” —u/Pluribus7158 Perspective #1: “Yeah, the water can reduce lubrication. And also, trying to find a position that isn’t a ton of work is impossible. People just like the idea of water, and I guess it is kind of sexy, but in actuality, every time I’ve tried shower sex, it wasn’t really enjoyable.” —u/GiggityDPT Perspective #2: “Honestly, I try to avoid anything in the shower. Because when you want to do it, you’ve gotta get out and dry off, go to the room, and then, I’m cold. Looks way hotter in porn and movies.” —u/AconitumPlicatum Perspective #3: “We’ve always enjoyed shower fun, though we usually end up moving to a bed at some point (‘cause we’re old).” —u/Moulin-Rougelach Perspective #1: “I mean, sometimes they rub it so hard it looks like a competitive Mario Party 64.” —u/groovey_potato Perspective #2: “Ugggh, it’s so sensitive, and they rub like they’re scrubbing some dishes.” —u/RoosterMiserable1275 Perspective #1: “I’ve been with several women that didn’t want/need it. Nevertheless, it’s very enjoyable for those who did want it.” —u/Brvcx Perspective #2: “The thing that’s not realistic about porn is that foreplay does not only consist of fingering for 30 seconds and cunnilingus. All the slow tension-building foreplay is usually skipped.” —u/foofydildosoap Perspective #1: “Uh. I’ve had many ’everybody happy’ threesomes. MFM, MFF, FMF, and MMF. We’ve all been happy most of the time.” —u/swinger_alt4me Perspective #2: “What’s the difference between MFF and FMF?” —u/mattmelb69 Perspective #3: “In MFF, the women play with each other and the man. In FMF, the women don’t play with each other, they each only play with the guy.” —u/swinger_alt4me Perspective #1: “Yes, the pain and how dirty it is. There is a reason nurses can’t have long nails. I don’t want whatever gnarly bacteria you have under your nails. I know anyone can have dirty nails, but it just makes it so much more noticeable when watching it.” —u/pugsnotdrugs Perspective #1: “I know, right? It’s such a turn-on for me when I hear men moan.” —u/Sufficient-Brush2362 Perspective #2: “I’m silent. I have to remind myself to make sounds so my partner knows I’m having fun. I know she enjoys it when I’m vocal, but I have a lot of trouble as I don’t actually enjoy it.” —u/Whane17 Perspective #3: “I like that in porn, though. I don’t really wanna hear that personally.” —u/owenmenard Perspective #1: “But I highly recommend sex with socks on. It’s so cozy.” —u/daytime_nightime Perspective #2: “Have you ever had sex with a woman with socks on a carpet? You’ll slide all over. Get some baseball cleats for extra traction.” —u/Raspootin Perspective #3: “This is actually a huge plot point in an episode of How I Met Your Mother where Marshall wears the grippy socks to bed after Lily made them with silk sheets. I believe his line was, ‘Lily, babe, c’mon…Daddy needs his traction!’” —u/YoungEsquire Perspective #1: “Truth. I am small. I will not have sex with a man over 6” because I don’t want to be in pain. I have dildos I can’t use because they’re too big.” —u/HelenAngel Perspective #1: “I was gonna say this! A woman with her hips off the bed, legs spread eagle/up by her head is not gonna last more than 45 seconds unless you’re with an Olympic gymnast.” —u/globbyatom
